Jesus' Coming Back

15 Hysterical Reactions to Trump’s Jerusalem Announcement

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It’s safe to say that people around the world are very excited by President Donald Trump’s decision to formally recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel and begin the process of moving the American embassy there.

Here are some of the most excitable folks and their reactions to the announcement:

Ismail Haniyah, head of the Hamas government in Gaza: “Our position remains as it is, Palestine from the sea to the Jordan river. We will not agree to two states and not to the division of Jerusalem. I hereby call for terrorism and armed struggle … We want the uprising to last and continue to let Trump and the occupation regret this decision.”

Saab Erekat, Palestinian negotiator: “President Trump has delivered a message to the Palestinian people: The two-state solution is over. Now is the time to transform the struggle to one of one state with equal rights for everyone living in historic Palestine, from the river to the sea.” (Note: there is not much room for Israel in a map where “Palestine” stretches “from the river to the sea.” The phrase is generally interpreted as a call for genocide against the Jews.)

Mahmoud Abbas, president of the Palestinian Authority: “These measures are a reward to Israel’s violations of international resolutions and an encouragement for Israel to continue its policy of occupation, settlements, apartheid and ethnic cleansing.”

Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Supreme Leader of Iran: “Their announcement of Quds as the capital of Occupied Palestine proves their incompetence and failure. In regards to Palestine, they are helpless and unable to achieve their goals. Victory is for the Islamic nation. Palestine will be free, and the Palestinian people will be victorious. The modern-day pharaoh is represented by the U.S., the Zionist regime and their accomplices in the region, who seek to create wars in our region, and this is plotted by the U.S. … The Islamic world will undoubtedly stand against this plot and the Zionists will receive a big blow from this action and dear Palestine will be liberated.” (Note: “Quds” means Jerusalem; “Occupied Palestine” means Israel.)

Hassan Rouhani, President of Iran and certified “moderate” according to the Obama administration: “We call on Muslim peoples to enter into a big uprising against the plot of transferring the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem. The declaration of Jerusalem as the capital of the Zionist entity is a new conspiracy facing the Islamic world these days. We have to be aware and ready in the face of the U.S., the Zionist entity, and their tails.”

Hisham Abdallah, Egyptian TV host: “Mustering all his insolence and vanity Trump, the enemy of the Arabs and the Muslims, declared that Jerusalem is the capital of Israel. By Allah, never! He declared it with the utmost scorn to 1.7 billion Muslims. But now, I shall direct a message to Muslims all over the world: The time has come for us to show them our rage. The time has come for you to rise, in all corners of the Earth, and rebel and rage for the sake of our Jerusalem. I do not fear for Jerusalem because I know that the resistance will set it on fire. I do not fear for Jerusalem because the Palestinian people is a proud people who will set it on fire. Hamas has already declared that the Oslo Accords are over. They have declared that they are launching the resistance. But I fear for the Two Holy Mosques because they are held by a Zionist collaborator called Mohammed bin Salman.”

(This is a reference to the cities of Mecca and Medina. Mohammed bin Salman is the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia. For the record, the Saudi royal court said it was “disappointed” by Trump’s decision and warned it will “further complicate the Palestinian-Israeli conflict.”)

Ibrahim Karagul, editor-in-chief of Turkish Islamist newspaper Yeni Safak: “If Jerusalem is taken, the new front will be established around Mecca and Medina. The attacks will turn toward those two centers, tanks and missiles will be turned to that direction. This is what they were planning all along since the 1991 Gulf War. This is the war they were waging in all the plans they made under the name of ‘fighting terrorism.’ This is the plan they acted upon when invading Iraq in 2003 and when starting the Syrian war. The terror corridor plan in northern Syria was made for this purpose.” (Evidently, this “Mecca and Medina are next” talking point is becoming very popular.)

Al-Akhbar, a pro-Hezbollah newspaper in Lebanon: “Death to America! Today in Palestine there is a capable, empowered resistance that owns thousands of rockets that can strike Tel Aviv.”

Desmond Tutu, Nobel laureate: “God is weeping over President Donald Trump’s inflammatory and discriminatory recognition of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.”

Hassan Nasrallah, leader of Hezbollah: “We support the call for a new Palestinian intifada and escalating the resistance which is the biggest, most important and gravest response to the American decision.”

Recep Tayyip Erdogan, president of Turkey: “The U.S. president has disregarded the 1980 UN decision. Until now, no country in the world other than the U.S. and Israel has taken a step that is contrary to the 1980 UN resolution. Only these two countries have gone against it. It is not possible to understand what Trump wants to achieve. Jerusalem was viewed as a place of worship for Muslims, Christians, and Jews. It was the first kiblah of Muslims. Masjid al-Aqsa was our first kiblah. To take such a step will throw the region into a ring of fire. Political leaders should make peace, not cause disorder. Trump’s declaration aims to stir up the region, not to bring peace.”

Al-Shabaab, Somalia’s al-Qaeda-linked terrorist group, urged “all Muslims to raise arms and defend the blessed al-Aqsa from the Zionist occupiers supported by America because what was taken by force can only be restored by force.”

Dawoud Shebab, spokesman for Palestinian Islamic Jihad: “We implore Arabs and Muslims to stop taking America as a friend and ally after it chose to stand entirely on Israel’s side. We demand that the Arab Peace Initiative be shelved and that Arab states stop normalizing relations with the Israeli occupation and close all Israeli diplomatic missions inside their countries.”

Hanan Ashwari, Palestine Liberation Organization executive committee member: “In one blow, President Trump has destroyed not only the chances of peace but the stability and security of the region as a whole. He has undermined his closest allies in the Arab world. He has also taken a position that is absolutely illegal and in violation of international law. He has disqualified the U.S., sadly, from playing any role in peacemaking.”

Unidentified Muslim in Amsterdam: His comment consisted of yelling “Allahu akbar,” but his actions spoke more loudly than his words:

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