Media Announces Brief Moratorium On Calling Trump A Brutal Dictator To Praise Kim Jong Un’s Sister

PYEONGCHANG, S KOREA—U.S. media outlets declared a brief 48-hour moratorium on calling President Donald Trump a brutal dictator and comparing him to Hitler in order to praise Kim Jung Un’s sister, Kim Yo Jong, for her appearance at the Winter Olympics.

“For the next 48 hours, we will cease comparing Trump to history’s most violent rulers in order to fawn over one of North Korea’s leaders,” a CNN spokesperson said over the weekend. “You go girl! Show Pence who’s boss!”

Media outlets also declared they would not mention North Korea’s barbarous practices, like starving its citizens, imprisoning anyone suspected of dissent, and killing its political enemies in cold blood, in order to make room for their coverage on Kim Yo Jong, who serves as the Director of the Propaganda and Agitation Department for her totalitarian brother.

At publishing time, the media had told the sister of one of the most brutal dictators in history to “SLAY, QUEEN!”—advice sources were later able to confirm she took literally on her return to North Korea.