Church Backup Guitarist Thrashing Around Like He’s Angus Young Shredding For AC/DC Circa 1980

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—22-year-old Grace Church backup guitarist Jeremy Metzger is reportedly still bouncing and thrashing about when he plays during corporate worship each Sunday morning as though he thinks he is Angus Young shredding for AC/DC circa 1980, numerous churchgoing sources confirmed.

“The kid plays basic four-chord worship songs but he’s always back there flopping around with a pained expression on his face like he’s Angus Young banging out the ‘Highway to Hell’ guitar solo in front of 50,000 people,” one disturbed parishioner said, adding that just in the past month Metzger has executed such rock star moves as “the duck walk,” “the Curly shuffle,” “the dying bug,” and Pete Townshend’s famous “windmill strum” during worship in front of the 100-member church.

“And that’s not even counting last Sunday, when he climbed the stage wall props while fist-pumping during a sober rendition of “Our God,” then jumped on top of the clear drum enclosure and lit his guitar on fire like Jimi Hendrix,” the source also revealed.

At publishing time, reports indicated that after a stern talking-to from the church’s elder board, Metzger had agreed to tone down his on-stage antics, as long as he could wear a large sign around his neck each Sunday that reads “PLEASE NOTICE ME.”