Jesus' Coming Back

Trump Offers Hearty Endorsement Of New Babylon Bee Book

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After addressing the crowd gathered at an event honoring the National Day of Prayer Thursday, Donald Trump took a moment to offer a hearty endorsement of the new book by The Babylon BeeHow To Be A Perfect Christian: Your Comprehensive Guide To Flawless Spiritual Living.

The Babylon Bee, a truly great website, just wrote a wonderful book, How To Be A Perfect Christian, which is doing really well. These guys are very special and so is their new book…bring it to number one!” he said, holding up a copy of the book provided to him by the publisher.

Trump stated he “really appreciated” the book’s instructions on how to join a church that makes you feel comfortable, worship with your hands raised high like you’re a stock image on a church website, and eliminate egregious sins like dancing, drinking, and playing cards on Sunday.

“Frankly, I wasn’t sure about all the evangelicalism stuff when I became a Christian in order to get elected,” he said in a moment of unguarded authenticity. “Forgiveness? Grace? Who needs it, am I right? But this book showed me that if you just say all the right things and comform to the status quo, you too can be perfect.”

“Many people are saying this book is one of the all-time greats,” he added.

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