DESTREHAN, LA—In a public appearance with the prosperity gospel televangelist Tuesday, Lucifer the Prince of Darkness committed to matching all donations dollar for dollar that disciples of Jesse Duplantis make for his new private luxury jet.
“I hereby vow to double every dollar you give to help my friend Jesse get his new $54 million Falcon 7X,” Satan said at the press conference, as a smiling Duplantis looked on. “Together, we can help him reach his fundraising goal and spread his demonic message of abundance and prosperity all across the globe.”
“Please, if you can find it in your heart, make a love offering today,” Satan added in a solemn plea.
Satan promised to wire the funds from his account in the underworld straight to Duplantis’s ministry as soon as he reaches half of his fundraising goal. The pair claim to have had a long working relationship, with Satan contributing his demonic power to the minister’s last three jet purchases and helping to provide a large portion of the televangelist’s underlying theology.
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