Radical, Far-Right Supreme Court Recognizes Pro-Life Movement’s First Amendment Rights

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Setting a dangerous precedent for the nation, the radical, far-right Supreme Court upheld the First Amendment rights of pro-life centers in its NIFLA v. Becerra decision earlier today.

Five “obviously fascist” members of the court voted not to force pro-life centers to advertise abortions, narrowly beating out the four “brave resistance” justices who attempted to block their dangerous ruling.

“This is a dark day for our nation,” a correspondent for CNN said outside the court as the ruling was handed down. “Not being able to compel pro-lifers to provide free advertising for abortion is the first step down a very slippery slope to a nation where one day the government won’t be able to force you to say anything they want.” He then broke down in tears before signalling for his cameraman to cut the broadcast.

Experts agreed that the decision represents a “totalitarian takeover” of the Supreme Court by Republicans, and could lead to more decisions upholding the “potentially deadly” idea that all people have the right to free speech.