Study: Humanity Just A Few More Bans Away From Only Having Good Opinions On The Internet

WORLD—There’s good news for the internet: studies show it’s now just a few bans away from finally only having good opinions on it. Much of social media had become dominated by racism, conspiracy theories, and people who are just plain wrong about things, but by simply kicking off people who pretty much everyone agrees is bad, studies show soon only good discussion will dominate the internet.

“There are literal Nazis on social media now,” said researcher Douglass Simmons, “but we have a tool the Nazis didn’t have: banning unpopular speech. By applying and expanding this tool, we can make the internet a place everyone—everyone who is left, anyway—can enjoy.” This new internet is made by a coalition of liberals and their natural ally: large corporations. Together they plan to work together to cull just the really bad opinions and then stop when just the good viewpoints are left.

As for the people with unpopular views, they’ll be further marginalized and, presumably, react by getting better opinions—though researchers admit it will be hard to know for sure as now no one will ever hear from them again.

The move to eliminate bad speech from social media has been mainly met with wide approval, but there were some detractors initially. After some more culling, though, the move was met with unanimous approval.