Jesus' Coming Back

California Now Requires Companies To Have At Least One Gang Member On Executive Board

SACRAMENTO, CA—In a move to encourage inclusion and diversity, a new California law now requires companies to hire at least one gang member to serve on their executive board.

Legislators will reportedly also accept undocumented immigrants or a homeless person if a violent gang member can’t be found.

“It’s high time that gang members start being included in the management of successful companies,” Governor Jerry Brown said in a statement. “Far too many companies simply choose the best person for the job, rather than allow people who might not be qualified because of their criminal activity to have a chance at running a business.”

Scrambling to comply with the new law, hundreds of HR department reps were seen combing the streets of LA, San Francisco, and San Diego looking for members of MS-13, Bloods, or Crips to recruit for their leadership boards.

At publishing time, Brown had begun building a wall to keep corporations from leaving the state.

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