Jesus' Coming Back

Dave Ramsey Suffers Massive Seizure After Walking Into Payday Loan Store

FRANKLIN, TN—Radio host and personal finance guru Dave Ramsey was rushed to a local hospital after suffering a massive seizure upon walking into a payday loan store, sources confirmed.

Witnesses report Ramsey, author of numerous financial advice books, wandered into the Cash City franchise location on 5th Avenue, apparently expecting to find a store that only accepts cash, his preferred method of paying for everything from tube socks to palatial estates. Sources confirm Ramsey glanced at the wall, saw the posted payday loan interest rate of 400% APR, and immediately fell to the floor, convulsing violently and foaming at the mouth. EMS crews quickly arrived on the scene and transported the seizing Ramsey to a nearby emergency room for treatment.

At publishing time, a spokesperson for Williamson Medical Center confirmed Mr. Ramsey is alert and in stable condition, reportedly telling everyone within earshot he is feeling “better than he deserves.”

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