PALM SPRINGS, CA—While making an attempt to comment on her granddaughter’s vacation photos Monday, local grandmother Jean Lindberg accidentally hacked the upcoming midterm elections, sources confirmed.
Lindberg apparently managed to accidentally take out millions of dollars’ worth of pro-Russia ads and hack into state servers, where she adjusted voter rolls and rigged the election by mistake.
“I turned on Google and went to the Facebook so I could write an email on my granddaughter’s pictures, and the next thing I know I’ve toppled our entire democracy,” a bewildered Lindberg told investigators. “You know, this kind of thing never happened when we just wrote each other letters the good old-fashioned way.”
“Oh look, Bill Gates is trying to send me a check, and I’ve just gotta click here to claim it,” she added excitedly before somehow managing to hack thousands of polling machines set to be used in the midterms.
Claiming she was just trying to post a Minion meme to her “Facebook blog,” Lindberg then registered millions of dead people to vote, gave Russians access to the United States’ most sensitive information, and deleted tens of thousands of emails on an unsecured state server.
Jesus Christ is King
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