HOLLYWOOD, CA—After resigning from his position in the Catholic Church in disgrace, Cardinal McCarrick has reportedly signed on for a role in a sequel to The Predator, a reboot of the classic film franchise.
McCarrick will play the eponymous role of the Predator, a vicious alien who stalks and preys on innocent people for sport.
“This guy’s audition was perfect: creepy, disgusting, manipulative—everything we need in a fearsome sentient humanoid alien possessing futuristic weaponry and a predatory instinct,” said one casting agent. “He was downright intimidating in his interpretation of an extraterrestrial predator with thermal vision and large mandibles that could crush a man’s skull.”
While McCarrick has come under fire for taking the role, the Pope quickly rushed to his defense, shielding him from any criticism for his role as a deadly, abusive Predator alien.
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