WASHINGTON, D.C.—Meeting with President Donald Trump for an emergency briefing, top NASA leadership gently explained to the President that the world does not in fact revolve around him, sources from within the White House confirmed.
NASA scientists reportedly called the meeting after it became clear the United States’ top leader was operating on a faulty astronomical model, taking actions and making comments that indicated he felt the world actually revolved around him.
“See this big, yellow circle right in the middle of our solar system?” chief astrophysicist Virgil Cantano said slowly and carefully, according to those present at the meeting. “The world revolves around this actually.”
“That must be me then. I’m the big yellow circle? Not a very good drawing of me. Sad!” Trump reportedly responded. “Lots of bad artists in here, many people are saying! Not good!”
“No, Mr. President. That’s the sun. You’re not on this diagram, because you’re very small compared with the size of the world and the rest of the universe,” Cantano responded carefully.
“He took the news alright, all things considered,” acting NASA Administrator Robert M. Lightfoot Jr. told reporters after the meeting. “He seemed disappointed, but conceded the point after we presented a mountain of evidence indicating that it was impossible for his person to generate enough gravitational force to retain a planet in orbit.”
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