‘Sesame Street’ Producers Deny Rumors That Bert, Ernie Are Russian Spies

U.S.—Show runners for Sesame Street have come forward to deny accusations that Bert and Ernie are in secret service to the Kremlin, feeding information to Russia’s leaders in order to undermine the interests of the United States.

The statement came in response to a writer for the show, who stated that he’s “always thought of Bert and Ernie as KGB” while writing their scenes. Viewers pointed out that Ernie’s constant reminiscing over “the Motherland” and Bert’s propensity for reading Communist literature as he ignored Ernie’s incoherent ramblings suggested that the two may actually be Russian agents.

“Bert and Ernie are puppets, and are therefore apolitical characters without any ability to sell government secrets to Putin,” Sesame Street reps wrote on the show’s Twitter account. “We wrote the characters to talk about friendship, and they are in no way Russian spies.”

“Seriously, they’re puppets. Stop making such a big deal about whether or not they’re members of your proletariat uprising,” the tweet concluded.

At publishing time, Oscar the Grouch had been accused of being enlisted by the CIA to wiretap Bert and Ernie’s phone.