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GLENDALE, CA—Writers for VeggieTales have confirmed to press that stars Bob and Larry are accountability partners and nothing more.
The statement came after progressive outrage over Sesame Street’s confirmation that Bert and Ernie are just friends. Liberals quickly began searching for other gay couples for children to look up to in animated kids’ shows, and latched onto Bob and Larry’s friendly relationship as a possible target.
“No, Bob and Larry really are just good friends who go out for coffee and talk about their Christian walk,” said one representative. “Seriously, don’t you people have anything better to do?” The rep pointed out that Bob and Larry regularly study the Bible at coffee shops and discuss their fight against sin, closing with prayer for one another to live as good witnesses for Christ on an increasingly secularized kitchen counter.
“Besides, guys. They’re, like, vegetables.”
At publishing time, VeggieTales producers had also denied rumors that Jimmy and Jerry Gourd’s relationship was anything but platonic.
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