The Left Learns An Important Lesson From The Kavanaugh Fight: They Need To Be Even More Obnoxious

U.S.—After failing to stop the confirmation of Justice Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, the left pointed to what they think was their main area of failure: they just weren’t obnoxious enough.

“We yelled, we mobbed, we called people rapist-sympathizers,” said activist Candice Norris, “but it just wasn’t enough. Obviously, we need to screech even louder and at even more people if we’re to convince others we’re really sure we’re right about everything.”

Student Harriet Curry agreed. “Some people are still trying to engage with people on the other side, but we have a saying: ‘If you’re being coherent, you’re losing.’ If we want to win these fights, we need to build up anger inside us and then direct that into screaming and sometimes pounding on things. You can use a few words as long as they’re simple like ‘Nazi’ or ‘rapist’, but don’t go overboard.”

The hope on the left is that increased obnoxiousness will help them win in the midterms. “I’m working on the world’s most annoying sound,” said activist Phillip Miller. “On election day, I plan to go from polling place to polling place, jump up and down, and make that sound. I think people will really respond to that energy.” If that doesn’t work, Miller still has one more ace up his sleeve to win over undecideds. “I’m going to start biting people.”