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SAN LEANDRO, CA—Local atheist man Michael Anderson purchased a Powerball ticket Monday evening, claiming “you just never know” if you might overcome the 1 in 300,000,000 odds to win the jackpot, though he’s unwilling to admit that there’s even the smallest possibility that God exists.
Anderson is “hopeful” that he’ll take home the prize, while he denies the chance that there’s a God at the outset.
“I think I’ve got a pretty good shot at the jackpot,” said the man who has ruled out every possibility of God’s existence despite overwhelming evidence. “Can’t win if you don’t play, right?”
The atheist man cited the fact that he can’t see God as ironclad evidence that He isn’t real. Meanwhile, he’s convinced himself there’s about a 50/50 shot that he’ll win the $1.6 billion jackpot.
“Christians are just wishful thinkers,” he added as his imagination ran wild with all the things he would buy if he won the jackpot.
Anderson also pointed out that he believes humanity has already overcome mathematically impossible odds to evolve from proteins in a swamp to incredibly complex biological machines. “What’s one in 300 million when you’ve already beat the literally impossible odds that we all were created from nothing over billions of years?”
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