Jesus' Coming Back

Zuckerberg Vows To Keep US Elections Safe From Unapproved Opinions

MENLO PARK, CA—In a video posted to his Facebook account, CEO Mark Zuckerberg committed to keep US elections safe from all unapproved opinions that people might otherwise encounter on his social network.

Zuckerberg vowed to continue to delete memes, pages, and posts that toe the line of opinions the leftist-run company does not like until the platform is completely secure from election meddling by Americans with a different perspective than his own.

“By deleting meme pages and opinions I don’t like, I’m helping to ensure Facebook users aren’t influenced to positions we don’t approve of,” he said in the video. “Pages that post anything outside of the approved mainstream political discourse aren’t welcome. What do you think this is—a free country?”

Facebook recently removed popular libertarian humor page Liberty Memes, police watchdog accounts, and news sites on both sides of the political aisle that questioned the political status quo one too many times. But Zuckerberg says this is just the beginning. “Should the owners of these pages try to start replacement pages to regain their followers, we may be forced to send them to our new, state-of-the-art meme gulag here in Menlo Park.”

“We will continue to cull posts, pages, and memes until everyone has the correct opinion,” said Zuckerberg.

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