KINGMAN, AZ—File this one away in the “strange but true” file: this kid woke up the morning after Halloween to find all his best candy had been raptured.
He sorted through his haul from the previous night and found amazing candies like Reese’s peanut butter cups, Snickers bars, Sour Patch Kids, and Bottle Caps taken up into the heavens, with only the wrappers left behind.
“Hey, Mom and Dad, all my good candy was taken up to be with the Lord!” the kid called out. “It looks like only the reprobate candies—the Dots, the candy corn, and the Necco wafers—were left to suffer through the tribulation.” Sources also confirmed several gospel tracts, a bag of pretzels, and a toothbrush given out by the neighborhood dentists were not taken.
“Yeah, that’s really weird, son,” his dad said, not making eye contact. “But God’s ways are higher than our ways, and if He wants the good candy to be with Him, then that is far better.”
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