Jesus' Coming Back

Father Heroically Agrees To Babysit Own Children For Two Hours

CONWAY, AR—Local father Drew Canton is being heralded as a hero after he selflessly agreed to babysit his own children for a full two hours over the weekend.

The man’s wife needed to go to the grocery store and laundromat, and Canton stepped up to the plate with the words that would elevate him to legendary status: “Yeah, sure, I guess I could babysit for a bit.”

He clarified he could only watch his own kids for “a couple of hours” though: “What am I supposed to do if they want food or something to drink? I may be a hero, but even I have my limits.” He also added that his “babysitting” skills are mostly limited to watching football or playing Madden and listening for anyone who might have gotten hurt, yelling, “Is everyone playing nice?” a few times an hour.

The move landed Canton an appearance on Ellen and several late shows, with the hosts lauding him for his unprecedented act of sacrificial love for his family. He also landed a lucrative deal to pen a groundbreaking book on parenting titled Loving Your Wife As Christ Loved The Church: How To Babysit Your Own Kids Once In A While.

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