Nation Torn Apart By Routine Election Starting To Wonder If Government May Be Too Powerful

U.S.—As the nation was torn apart by a relatively mundane, routine midterm election, just like the ones that regularly occur every four years, Americans began to wonder if a government in which such a commonplace election can impact so many lives in so many ways might just be a little bit too powerful.

The nation suddenly realized that a government holding elections that threaten far-reaching changes in each and every person’s private life could actually need to be downsized a tad.

“I was starting to wonder why we were all at each other’s throats,” said one Democratic voter in Oregon. “And then it hit me: the politicians and policies we’re voting on could shake up who has the government’s blessings for the next few years, and which groups will get left out. And then I was like, ‘Whoa. Maybe if the government weren’t so huge and bloated, we wouldn’t care about elections that much.”

He then dismissed the idea as “crazy talk,” however.

Pundits pondering the reasons behind the nation’s unprecedented level of division also began to come to the same conclusion. “Like, if the government is so powerful that it’s a life-or-death fight every couple years to take control of it, maybe we should just dismantle the whole thing?” said one anchor before the program suddenly cut to a “Technical Difficulties” screen.