Jim Acosta Late For Press Conference Again After Staring At Self In Mirror For Three Hours

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Jim Acosta was late again for President Trump’s press conference today after he stared at himself lovingly in the mirror for a full three hours.

A breathless Acosta ran into the press conference a few minutes after it started, sheepishly whispering to his colleagues that he lost track of time during his morning stare-at-Jim-Acosta ritual.

“I usually get up early enough to stare at myself for a couple hours at least, but I was running behind,” he told reporters later. “Then I just kept looking into my eyes and thinking about how brave and powerful and smart I am, and I just lost track of… man, I really am courageous aren’t I? Wait, what was I talking about again?”

At publishing time, Acosta was spotted staring at himself in a really shiny store window for nearly an hour.