AFTERLIFE—Former residents of Sodom and Gomorrah, speaking to reporters in the afterlife, recently questioned why the United States hasn’t been wiped off the map by Almighty God yet.
Those who once resided in the notoriously sinful cities are beginning to complain that America is still in existence, despite its senseless slaughter of the unborn and unquestioning acceptance of activities that were considered unthinkably perverse just a decade or two ago.
“Yeah, we were pretty jacked up—but have you seen some of the stuff that goes on in America nowadays?” one man said, shaking his head, which was on fire. “People are letting their kids dress up as drag queens and dance for money in gay bars. They literally kill hundreds of thousands of babies a year. They bomb foreign countries 24/7. We did bad stuff, sure, I’m not denying that—but come on! Even I can see the nation needs a hearty helping of fire and brimstone.”
“I mean, He can do what He wants, but if I were in the US right now, I’d be heading for the hills,” he added, shrugging. “And I wouldn’t be salty about it either—wouldn’t even look back.”
They also pointed to the fact that The Big Bang Theory has been running for over ten years.
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