Jesus' Coming Back

Activision Announces ‘Beto O’Rourke’s Pro Skater’

U.S.—Activision is finally resurrecting its popular Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater series, though this time, the publisher found someone even cooler to headline the series: Democrat icon and all-around radical dude Beto O’Rourke.

The company’s contract with Tony Hawk recently expired, but Activision executives found the perfect poster boy for the series in O’Rourke.

Beto O’Rourke’s Pro Skater is set to be released this fall and will let you compete in various challenges as the beloved politician. From skateboarding to debates and racking up massive combos as you grind your way to the 2020 nomination, this game seems to have it all. Unlockable characters will reportedly include other hip politicians like Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Jeb Bush.

“We were looking for a hip, cool cat that can really relate to the youngins,” said Activision’s head of youth outreach, Jim Bates. “Beto is just the guy. He eats Whataburger, he drums on his steering wheel and listens to cool bands. He rides skateboards and stuff.”

“He is one tight daddy-o!”

O’Rouroke has lent his voice talents to the game design, breathing life into lines his character shouts while nailing a sick grind, or shredding a halfpipe, such as “Single-payer healthcare is dope, yo!” and “America is ready for a 360!”

The game is projected to sell over three copies.

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