Nation’s Tough, Masculine Guys Still Haven’t Recovered From Offensive Razor Commercial

U.S.—According to sources from across the country, the nation’s tough, masculine men still haven’t recovered from an offensive razor commercial put out by Gillette around two weeks ago.

Men all over the country protested the idea of masculinity being attacked by a razor ad and proceeded to spend the next two weeks crying over the commercial.

“How dare Gillette attack my masculinity—I’m very masculine!” said one man, weeping, as he watched the ad a fortieth time Monday. “It’s just not fair.”

Many brawny, tough men who disagreed with the ad reportedly requested a safe space from the commercial’s hurtful words and triggering rhetoric.

“The problem nowadays is that companies think the nation’s men are snowflakes,” said another man who has spent every waking moment for the past 14 days debating the commercial on the internet. “They don’t respect traditional, tough masculinity, as I have been displaying throughout my whining over this ad for days on end.”

Thankfully, the nation’s tough guys are expected to make a full recovery sometime within the next six months, according to medical experts.