Nation Passes Out While Holding Breath Waiting For Liberals To Denounce Radical New Abortion Proposals

U.S.—The entire nation reportedly passed out from lack of oxygen after declaring they would hold their breath waiting for those on the left to denounce the radical abortion stance taken by several Democrat leaders over the past couple of weeks.

Confident that liberals would clarify that they only want safe, legal, and rare abortions and that late-term procedures for nearly any reason are morally wrong, the nation optimistically began to hold its breath earlier this week waiting for clarification but quickly passed out.

“I’m just gonna hold my breath and wait for it—I’m sure they’ll be distancing themselves from the procedure any time now,” said one man in Connecticut before taking a deep breath, plugging his nose, and staring at his computer screen waiting for a news story to pop up in which Democrat leaders took steps to distance themselves from the radical stance. “Any minute…” he breathed out as his face turned purple several minutes later before he finally passed out in front of the computer.

The nation has asked to be revived when Democrats finally denounce the procedures and so are expected to remain comatose indefinitely.