‘Republicans Are Brainwashed,’ Democrats Dutifully Chant While Clad In Identical White Uniforms

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In remarks leading up to the State of the Union address Tuesday evening, Democratic lawmakers accused Republicans of being brainwashed and following Trump no matter what he does, all while wearing matching white uniforms and only clapping when their party leaders signaled it was OK to do so.

“Republicans are all brainwashed to agree with whatever Trump says,” one congresswoman said after the address as she stood in solidarity with her fellow Democrats all in matching, identical uniforms. “It’s really sad that half our nation can’t think for themselves and only do whatever the Republican Party tells them to do.”

“When we can’t think for ourselves, we’ve lost what made this nation great,” she added, reading off a script prepared for her by party leaders.

At publishing time, Democrats had revealed they were slightly disappointed that the mothership didn’t come to take them away during the speech, but they’re confident it will be coming to take them back to their home planet any day now.