Jesus' Coming Back

Fox News Defends Decision To Print Words Of Trump In Red

NEW YORK, NY—Fox News executives have stood by their controversial decision to print the words of Donald Trump in red in all news stories and editorials posted to the company’s website.

The move, announced earlier this week, makes Fox News the first-ever “red-letter news organization,” as every word Donald Trump speaks will be printed in red as a sign of reverence. Executives believe the move will help readers spot when the inerrant words of Trump are being quoted, to help separate them from the ordinary news copy. “We hope it prepares people’s hearts and minds to receive the words of the savior,” said one Fox News representative.

“We’re not really sure what all the controversy is about,” said Fox News host Sean Hannity. “And frankly, we think it’s a little disrespectful that all these other news organizations haven’t taken this step yet. Honestly, I believe this must be Obama’s fault, somehow. CHEVROLET! AMERICA! DONALD TRUMP!”

There is no word yet on whether the company will officially begin capitalizing pronouns that refer to Trump, though an insider suggested that change would be “coming soon.”

At publishing time, CNN and MSNBC had confirmed they would continue printing the words of Obama in rainbow colors as a sign of his tolerance and love for diversity.

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