Unsure What ‘Heartbeat’ Is, Hollywood Actors Come Out Against Heartbeat Bill Just To Be Safe

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Saying they hadn’t heard of the concept of having a beating heart, several Hollywood actors called for a boycott on any states that promised to protect babies with beating hearts.

In Hollywood, it’s customary to simply have a gaping black void or stone in lieu of a heartbeat. Thus, when bills began popping up to protect unborn children’s beating hearts, Hollywood knew they had to step up to fight this bizarre phenomenon.

“Frankly, the idea of a human being having an actual beating heart with warm blood pumping through it is pretty strange,” activist and woman who allegedly acted in some stuff that people watched a long time ago Alyssa Milano wrote on her Twitter page. “We’d better make sure to stomp out these so-called ‘heartbeats,’ just to be on the safe side.”

At publishing time, Hollywood actors had also come out against bills that protected babies with brainwaves, as they were unsure what those were as well.

Readers of the Bee,

If just a small fraction of our visitors became subscribers, we’d have enough funding to stop running ads and reduce our dependence on big tech companies like Facebook and Google. Will you partner with us to make this possible?

Support Us Learn More