WORLD—Thousands of newborn babies have been recalled upon the revelation that they have a defective sleep module, causing them to wake up crying and hungry over and over again in the middle of the night.
Hospitals across the country encouraged tired mothers and fathers to return the babies to the maternity ward, where they would be given the latest update to ensure they sleep through the night for a good 12 hours like they’re supposed to.
“Some of these models aren’t sleeping through the night for a solid year or two,” said one doctor who raised the red flag on the potentially faulty batch of newborns. “It’s just a little bug, but one that will prevent you from sleeping for, like, the next 18 years. So bring them in and we’ll get the problem taken care of.”
According to research, if these babies mature without getting the defect replaced, the problem will continue throughout their childhood. When they turn four or five, they’ll start getting up over and over again after you put them to bed, asking you for one more bedtime story or one more drink of water in an effort to delay bedtime as long as possible.
“It’s important that you bring your child in now so we can get this fixed,” said a medical professional.
Readers of the Bee,
If just a small fraction of our visitors became subscribers, we’d have enough funding to stop running ads and reduce our dependence on big tech companies like Facebook and Google. Will you partner with us to make this possible?
Comments are closed.