Man Still Clinging To Outdated Belief In Good, All-Powerful, Generous, Loving Government

NEW YORK, NY—Local man Ricky Quintana has taken criticism for what some call his “archaic” and “outdated” beliefs.

While most people have matured enough to discard silly childish ideas, Quintana is still clinging to his faith in the existence of a good, all-powerful, generous, loving government.

“I just know that there are good people in Washington who are looking down on me,” he said. “I might not be able to see them or prove their existence, but I know they’re there. It’s like the wind: I can’t see it, but I can feel it.”

The man prays while facing Washington, D.C. every day, asking his “magic government daddy” to bring him blessings. He reads articles in newspapers about how humanity just needs more good government to ascend to the next plane of utopia, a sort of “morning devotional.”

The idea of a good, all-knowing, all-powerful government was popular hundreds of years ago, but enlightenment philosophies and millions of people killed by the government seemed to disprove this notion. Still, many worshipers of a benevolent government still cling to their faith.

But as for Quintana and his household, they will stick to their faith. “If we would just surrender our lives to government, we will have abundant life.”

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