U.S.—According to sources, an obnoxious contributor to Snopes.com continues to fact-check people’s jokes at every party he goes to.
The writer, Xander Billings, is always ready to confront people telling jokes with facts and logic to ensure the listeners aren’t hoodwinked into laughing.
“Actually,” Billings began after he heard one man begin telling a joke at a party this weekend, “there’s no hard evidence that a priest, a rabbi, and a minister walked in a bar together. I’ve called all the bars in the vicinity. In addition, it seems implausible that three people of such varying faith traditions would all go to a seedy establishment like a bar in order to have alcoholic beverages. And is the bar kosher? That seems far-fetched.”
“I’m rating this one: FALSE!” he shouted. The partygoers appreciated his fact-check so much that they walked away from him to the other side of the party so he’d have space to work on his fact checks in peace, sources claim.
Billings then heard someone else begin telling a “Why did the chicken cross the road joke?” and leaped into action.
“Chickens act mostly by instinct, rather than processing thoughts the way humans do,” Billings said helpfully as partygoers rolled their eyes, a sign of their appreciation for his hard work. “I’m rating this one UNPROVEN!”
At publishing time, sources had confirmed that the partygoers had selflessly asked Billings to continue his important work at other parties, so other people telling jokes could have the benefit of Snopes.com’s hard work.
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