Elizabeth Warren Proposes Replacing Government-Created Problem With New, Bigger Government-Created Problem

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a bold initiative announced as part of her campaign for president, Elizabeth Warren has identified a large, government-created problem and has announced a new, bloated plan to create an even larger, government-created problem.

“The government’s meddling and interference has inflated prices and saddled our young people with debt,” Warren announced to a crowd of supporters, “but with even more interference, I can inflate prices even more and eventually build up an unimaginable debt shared by all American people.”

Warren has announced a number of new taxes that could have a punitive effect on the economy but definitely won’t cover the costs of her proposal. Her hope is that by pumping more and more money into the problem, she can make it larger and larger, costing more and more while providing less and less value, until it’s a new entitlement dominating a large percentage of government spending and further accelerating the national debt.

“This makes me hopeful for the future,” said Elizabeth Warren supporter Lindsay Porter. “By the time my daughter is grown up, the problem will be so large that it will be a dominant issue for her to campaign on and try to fix. But if she’s anything like Elizabeth Warren, she’ll find a way to make the problem so large it will simply be unimaginable to people today.”

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