Jesus' Coming Back

Reigning ‘Jeopardy!’ Champion Begins Sweating Nervously After Being Introduced To Next Contender: Ben Shapiro

Reigning ‘Jeopardy!’ Champion Begins Sweating Nervously After Being Introduced To Next Contender: Ben Shapiro

CULVER CITY, CA—Reigning, record-breaking Jeopardy! champion James Holzhauer was feeling pretty confident coming off his 19th winning streak and going into his 20th game.

But Holzhauer instantly began sweating profusely after being introduced to his next competitor: conservative pundit Ben Shapiro.

“Is it, uh, is it hot in here?” the usually cool and collected game show contestant said, chuckling nervously as he grabbed at his collar. “Seems like the temperature just went up a few degrees. Can we get a little A/C on, Alex?”

As soon as the game started, Shapiro began crushing Holzhauer with facts and logic, rattling off interesting bits of information like “there are only two genders” and “socialism has failed every time it has been tried.” He chose a clue in a category called “Spanish Gendered Nouns” and went on for a solid five minutes about the binary nature of gender, according to those at the taping.

“It was incredible,” one attendee said. “Ben just kept absolutely MELTING James the snowflake with LOGIC and REASON. No one could get a word in edgewise.”

Unfortunately for the conservative commentator, his “truth bombs” were completely unrelated to the answers on the board, and he lost horribly.

Readers of the Bee,

If just a small fraction of our visitors became subscribers, we’d have enough funding to stop running ads and reduce our dependence on big tech companies like Facebook and Google. Will you partner with us to make this possible?

Comments are closed.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More