Jesus' Coming Back

Brie Larson Criticizes New Film For Not Casting Brie Larson

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Brie Larson is taking another stand against the patriarchy and the old Hollywood establishment. This time she is criticizing a new film for not casting a woman in the lead role—namely herself. Larson railed against the unnamed new film’s casting claiming it was a disgusting display of sexism, Larsonism, and Anti-Brieism. “This is 2019. It’s time to start opening up the lead roles in new films to oppressed minorities, like me.”

When asked which new film she was talking about, Larson simply said: “whatever new one is coming out that I am not in.” Larson pointed out that the number of lead roles in existence far outnumber the lead roles she has been cast in.

When studios were asked why they had not cast Larson in the lead role of their new film, those who responded mostly said they weren’t sure what she was talking about but they would try to do better.

“Brie Larson is an important voice,” said Disney studio executive Steven Parsnip. “Whatever she says is probably true, I don’t know.”

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