Jesus' Coming Back

Star Wars Fans Implement Sex Strike Until Disney Disavows ‘The Last Jedi’

U.S.—Fans of the Star Wars franchise announced this week they will be implementing a sex strike until Disney disavows The Last Jedi.

The movement aims to force Disney to destroy all copies of the film, remove it from all streaming services, and issue a public apology, all before replacing the film with a new Episode 8 that actually respects Star Wars lore.

“We will withhold sex from all female humans until The Last Jedi is wiped from existence,” said Lars “Lando” Pearson,  a self-described “Star Wars geek.” “We hate to resort to these kinds of drastic measures, but it must be done for an important cause such as this.”

“As long as The Last Jedi is allowed to stand, with its comprehensive destruction of everything we hold dear about Star Wars, females of our species will not get to enjoy everything they hold dear about us Star Wars nerds.”

“I’m sorry, but we must make this sacrifice,” he added.

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