Jesus' Coming Back

Report: All Six Men Attracted To Feminists Deeply Affected By Sex Strike

U.S.—According to a new report performed by the American Public Health Association, all six men who are sexually attracted to feminists are already suffering deeply from the ongoing sex strike for abortion rights.

The six men in the nation who identify as feminist-attracted include Greg, Sebastien, Shiloh, Ansel, Jade, and Ashley. All of them are from Oregon.

“While this sex strike was attempting to affect conservative men, in the end, it’s these six sensitive males who will suffer the most,” an APHA rep said. “Sebastien is particularly affected, as his girlfriend, Willow, had just come off a sex strike to save a rare species of field mouse in California. He was really looking forward to the end of the sex strike, but once Alyssa Milano and other pseud-celebrities called for a new strike, he realized it was going to be a long summer.”

“Please keep all of these brave souls in your thoughts and vibes,” he added.

While it may surprise many to find out that some people are sexually attracted to feminists, there are at least five or six men in America at any given time who suffer from FA (feminist attraction). The condition is categorized as a mental disorder by the American Psychiatric Association, along with people who are attracted to women in Uggs and those who are attracted to Sonic the Hedgehog fanart.


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