Ah, Crap: The Guy Walking Into Church Ahead Of You Is Holding The Door Even Though You’re Still 50 Yards Away And Now You Have To Run

U.S.—Well, this sucks. The freakishly cheery guy who is walking into church 50 yards ahead of you is holding the door, and now you’ve got to sprint or else he’ll just be standing there for a really awkward 30 seconds and you’ve got to try to avoid eye contact and not make it weird. So now you’ve got to do this awkward shuffle-run thing to make it not really look like you’re hurrying while you dash toward the door to minimize the awkwardness. “Why couldn’t this guy have just gone in and pretended not to see me in the reflection on the glass doors?” you wonder as you try to smile at him and give a little polite wave while you run like a doofus toward the building just because this yahoo thought it would be helpful to make you sprint so as not to have to open the door. “What is this guy’s problem, anyway?” you think to yourself as he just stands there holding the door as though he didn’t just create an awkward social situation that you’ll think about when you try to go to sleep tonight. At publishing time, you held the door for an elderly woman making her way toward the building and had to stand there for an excruciating 55 seconds.

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