‘This Is Exactly Like The Handmaid’s Tale,’ Declares Local Woman After Man Opens Door For Her

FAIRFAX, VA—Local woman Jenny Parsons was leaving a meeting, minding her own business, at the office building where she works Thursday. She thought she was just filing out like all the other employees.

Little did she know, she was actually about to encounter evidence that her workplace is no better than the oppressive, totalitarian regime depicted in Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale.

Her coworker, Jake, smiled and held the door for her, prompting Parsons to explode almost immediately into a rant about how this was just more evidence that America is literally like something out of a dystopian novel she’s read about on the internet.

“Where are we, Gilead?” she said loudly as the confused man held the door for her. “Why does no one else but me see how oppressive this is toward women? This is exactly like The Handmaid’s Tale. This is the future Hulu warned us about.”

The woman reportedly makes the comparison often.

“Just last week, she stubbed her toe and suggested it was exactly like the dystopian nightmare Mike Pence wants for our nation,” said her next-door neighbor, Freida.

At publishing time, Parsons had walked by a brand-new Chick-fil-A restaurant under construction and made the comparison again as frightened and confused building contractors backed away from her slowly.

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