Report: Judas Actually Betrayed Jesus In Exchange For 30 Limited Edition Trump Prayer Coins

U.S.—A new report issued by a group of evangelical scholars confirmed Monday that Judas Iscariot actually betrayed Jesus in exchange for 30 limited edition Trump-Cyrus prayer coins identical to the ones being hawked on televangelist Jim Bakker’s program, not 30 pieces of silver as originally thought.

“A closer look at the Greek here reveals the truth,” said Dr. Wayne Kimball, professor of New Testament at Biola University. “It seems in order to woo Judas over to their side, the Sanhedrin bribed Judas with 30 commemorative prayer coins designed to help President Trump win a second term.”

Students of the Bible have long wondered why Judas would betray Jesus for just a few bits of silver. But now his decision makes more sense, as these limited edition prayer coins offer a “point of contact” with God and go for $45 a piece.

“So you can see why he’d be tempted,” Dr. Kimball said.

Judas had reportedly seen several infomercials about the coins and was extremely interested in acquiring them. So he agreed to betray Jesus in order to ensure Trump gets a second term in the White House.

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