U.S.—Scholars have long pondered what it is Jesus wrote in the dirt when the scribes and Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery to him to be stoned.
Now, they have an answer. There is finally an academic consensus that Jesus wrote “Own the Libs.”
The account states that Jesus bent down and began writing something in the dirt as they asked him a question. It’s clear that he was trying to relay an important message to his followers. The message seems to have been for his followers to go out and own the libs.
“Jesus would have written a message entirely consistent with his Republican views,” one academic said. “We had it narrowed down to ‘Vote GOP,’ ‘Watch Ben Shapiro videos,’ and ‘Own the Libs.’ But after further textual analysis, it seems ‘Own the Libs’ is the most likely thing for Jesus to have conveyed to his followers.”
“The application for us believers, of course, is to go out and own the libs.”
Scholars also confirmed the message was written in English, since that is the language that God speaks.
Readers of the Bee,
If just a small fraction of our visitors became subscribers, we’d have enough funding to stop running ads and reduce our dependence on big tech companies like Facebook and Google. Will you partner with us to make this possible?
Comments are closed.