PHOENIX, AZ—Admitting a new psalm into the canon for the first time in thousands of years, an ecumenical council convened in Phoenix this week to officially recognize DC Talk’s hit song “Jesus Freak” as inspired scripture.
The song was selected as the 151st psalm for inclusion in the inspired songbook based on its divine lyrics and obviously inspired nature. Supporters of the proposal to canonize the song pointed out that it has a “dope riff” and is “a real headbanger.” They also demonstrated the infallible nature of its raps and its divinely prophetic commentary on John the Baptist, Jesus Saves tattoos, and bellies that wiggle like marmalade jelly.
“We already knew ‘Jesus Freak’ was handed down on golden plates, but it took some time to verify the biblical nature of the psalm,” Dr. Wayne Grudem said, addressing the assembly of Protestant believers gathered. “Sure enough, the unanimous vote handed down today indicated that ‘Jesus Freak’ belongs in a revered place in the canon, right alongside Psalm 23, 46, and 119. Absolutely legendary.”
Grudem then tried to rap the second verse but was asked to sit down.
An upcoming ecumenical council will vote on adding “In The Light” and “Colored People” as the 152nd and 153rd psalms, respectively.
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