Jesus' Coming Back

NASA Announces All-Female Remake Of Staged Moon Landings

HOUSTON, TX—As a tribute to the 50th anniversary of its fake moon landing, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration has announced a reboot of the staged event that fooled billions worldwide, only this time featuring an all-female crew.

NASA officials confirm they will release a shot-for-shot remake of the meticulously concocted phony moon landing, originally filmed at an undisclosed soundstage 50 years ago this week. The rejuvenated hoax will follow in the footsteps of other recent all-female reboots like Ghostbusters and Ocean’s 8.

“Those were some great buddy films,” a NASA spokesperson told reporters, “but we made the ultimate buddy movie in 1969 when we tricked all those people with Neil, Buzz, and Mike. We thought a modernized update was the perfect way to mark the occasion.”

Rumors claim the part of Neil Armstrong will be played by Scarlett Johansson, with Melissa McCarthy acting in the role of Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin. The Michael Collins character will be portrayed by Dame Judi Dench.

According to sources, the only change in the script is a more inclusive update to Armstrong’s famous words when setting foot on the moon, which will be replaced with the line “That’s one small step for a woman, one giant leap for womankind, mankind, transgenderkind, genderfluidkind, and otherkin.”

Readers of the Bee,

If just a small fraction of our visitors became subscribers, we’d have enough funding to stop running ads and reduce our dependence on big tech companies like Facebook and Google. Will you partner with us to make this possible?

Jesus Christ is King

Comments are closed.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More