U.S.—President Trump’s usually strong support among Baptists has finally come to an end after video emerged of him dancing.
While he was also seen “getting handsy” with some women and hanging out with Jeffrey Epstein, Baptists didn’t care until they saw him try to bust a move.
“I’ve supported the president through thick and thin,” said one Southern Baptist pastor in Kentucky, “but he broke my heart with this video. I know God can use an imperfect, adulterous man just like He did with King David, but I don’t think He can redeem a dancer.”
Baptist ministers across the country rent their polo shirts and sprinkled themselves with burnt casserole dust as they watched Trump try to pull off some “disgustingly dope dance moves.”
“You were supposed to be the chosen one!” cried one weeping Baptist in Texas as he saw the footage.
Trump’s wild gyrations earned him newfound support among charismatics, however, offsetting the loss among the Baptist demographic.
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