PORTLAND, OR—Antifa has unveiled a new pumpkin spice Molotov cocktail for the fall protest season.
Developed in conjunction with Molotov Cocktails, Inc., the preferred provider of makeshift explosives for the leftist protestors, the throwable incendiary weapons are made with real, organic, locally harvested pumpkin spice. They taste and smell like pumpkin spice, which is important for the angry white people who make up Antifa.
“Now, when your political opponents are burning in agony, you can enjoy that pumpkin spice smell you love so much,” said Ned Patterson, CEO of Molotov Cocktails, Inc. “Nothing says fall like a good, old-fashioned, violent protest coupled with the scent of pumpkin spice.”
“Is that burning flesh you smell—or is that pumpkin spice? It’s hard to say!” he added before chucking one at a conservative journalist standing nearby. “Ah, I love the autumn!”
Popular white person boot company UGG is also supporting Antifa with a pair of steel-toed protest boots for the white girls who join up with Antifa in a brave stance against racism.
The company has also hinted at a white peppermint mocha flavor to debut this winter.
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