Jesus' Coming Back

Trump Holds Up Map Suggesting Hurricane May Hit Coast Of Middle-Earth

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Trump has drawn some criticism after holding up what appeared to be a map of Middle-earth, doctored to show Hurricane Dorian devastating the coast of Gondor and Eriador.

An official video released by the White House showed Trump holding up the map and showing the path of the storm, though instead of having the storm slowly move up the coast, the president’s version had the map moving up across the grasslands of Enedwaith and threatening Isengard and the Gap of Rohan.

“Some have been saying the hurricane won’t threaten the Rohirrim or those in the Mines of Moria,” said Trump. “But this is wrong. Totally wrong. You need to get out of there. Maybe go to Minas Tirith, there’s a very good wall there. One of the best. Seven walls, actually. Tremendous country, Gondor.”

Sources in the White House also claim Trump has offered to buy Middle-earth in the past but never received an official response as it is not a real place.

When asked about the apparent confusion and who might have altered the official map to show the hurricane striking the mythological version of earth, Trump responded, “I have no memory of this taking place.”

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