New Evidence Suggests Esau Actually Sold Birthright For Spicy Chicken Sandwich From Chick-Fil-A

U.S.—Scholars working at top divinity schools across the country now believe that Esau traded his birthright for a spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A, not a bowl of soup or lentils as originally thought.

“It never really made sense to us that he traded his birthright for lentils,” said one expert working at Southern Seminary. “Who likes lentils? Lentils are gross. But do you know what would have made sense? If he came back from hunting and smelled that delicious, patented Chick-fil-A scent.”

“Man, it’s about lunchtime,” he added. “I’d give my birthright for a 12-count nugget right about now.”

According to scholars, when Esau returned from hunting, he was really hungry. And what did Jacob just happen to have? A spicy chicken sandwich: delicious, moist, cooked in peanut oil. And of course, that yummy pickle.

“The pickle is what did him in, that’s what I think,” said Dr. Gary Mayhue of the Master’s Seminary. “It’s what separates Chick-fil-A from imposter sandwiches, which tickle our ears and try to deceive us. We need to use discernment.”

Jacob was obviously really crafty because he knew just how to tempt Esau. Nothing less than God’s chicken would have convinced Esau to make the swap.

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