BILOXI, MS—Church visitors at Grace Baptist Church of Erie confirmed Thursday that the church bulletin was quite clearly designed in Microsoft Paint.
From clipart clearly grabbed off Google Images to random fonts and orientations to the fact that the bulletin folded in on itself backward, every indication was that the church secretary has been designing the weekly bulletins in MS Paint since the dawn of time. The bulletin also looked like it had been compressed as a JPEG several times and then sent through a fax machine.
“MS Paint is the ideal program for church bulletin design,” said church secretary Ethel Rutherford. “It has drawing tools, lots of different colors. You can even make shapes and lines. And if you find neat clip art on the Googles, you can add it right in there with no fuss.”
Rutherford stated she had been using Print Shop Deluxe for Windows 98 for many years before she was forced to switch over due to incompatibility issues with the church computer’s recent upgrade to Windows XP.
“Paint doesn’t have as many helpful thingies as Print Shop did,” she lamented. “I can’t make the text all wavy and rainbow-colored without painting it in myself. But sometimes I do anyway. It’s almost more rewarding that way.”
At publishing time, sources had further confirmed that the church website was also designed in Microsoft Paint.
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