WASHINGTON, D.C.—Republican lawmakers caused a scene when they stormed a closed-door impeachment inquiry meeting. But this isn’t the first time GOP legislators have stormed a closed door in the last week: newly released security footage from a local Chick-fil-A showed the group of Republican politicians storming the closed-door restaurant demanding to be let in.
“Let us in! Let us in!” they chanted, banging on the doors and throwing chairs at the windows.
“The American people have a right to get behind these doors!” cried Rep. Matt Gaetz. “It is unconscionable that an American institution like Chick-fil-A would close its doors to the public for a full 24 hours. No, wait, it’s even longer than that…” Gaetz paused for a few minutes to do some math in his head. “It’s closed for like, 30 hours! No wait…”
While he continued to try to figure out how long Chick-fil-A is closed each week, given that they close late Saturday night and don’t open until early
“What goes on in there on Sundays? We have a right to know! Democracy dies in delicious chicken darkness!”
The problem was solved when the GOP protest went well into the night and lasted until Monday morning, when the restaurant opened and everyone enjoyed a delicious breakfast scramble.
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