Kamala Harris Proposes Dropping Kids Off At School When They Turn 5 And Picking Them Back Up When They Turn 30

U.S.—Kamala Harris has unveiled her latest amazing policy proposal: having parents drop their kids off at government schools when they turn 5 and not picking them up until they turn 30.

The proposal would have parents bid goodbye to their children when they drop them off at kindergarten and not see them again until they graduate with a postgraduate degree or at least have backpacked in Europe for a few years after high school.

“Trust us—we’ll take great care of your kids for those 25 years,” she said at a campaign stop Wednesday. “When has the government teaching your children ever gone wrong?”

One person tried to answer but was arrested. “Nobody has any objections? That’s what I thought,” Harris said.

Harris believes the proposal will help working mothers not have to worry about their kids for several decades, during their most formative years when their “malleable little minds” can be influenced. Harris believes the system would help kids get indoctrinated at a much faster rate than today’s school system.

“Today, we only get, like, 6 or 7 hours with your kids,” he said. “It’s far too little time to really turn them into good communists. We need at least 24 hours a day to get the desired results.”

Harris says the proposal is optional, though if you choose not to participate, your home may be subject to a no-knock raid in which you will likely get shot in the face.

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