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New Emmy Category Announced: Best Covering For A Pedophile

NEW YORK, NY—The National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences has announced a new category for its 2020 awards show: “Best Covering for a Pedophile.”

ABC News and CBS News are favorites for the award, with CNN in a close third. The former two nominees covered up a huge news story that could have brought down Jeffrey Epstein and fired the woman who leaked audio of the story being discussed, while CNN has been reluctant to report on the cover-up carried out by the station’s peers.

“We want to recognize those television news stations that bravely get information that could bring down a rich and powerful pedophile and then hide that information from the public,” said a NATAS spokesperson. “News reporting is a vital part of ensuring criminals get away with exploiting people, as long as those criminals are our friends.”

“Democracy dies when the people are informed,” he added.

NATAS admits it’s going to be tough to pick a winner and suspects that there will be dozens of nominees in this particular category by the time Fall 2020 comes around.

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